Monday, February 21, 2011

All APT

With King Roomie Rock unavailable, members of the APT universe took to an interstellar space station to watch Sunday's NBA All-Star Game. After much deliberation (drinking), Kobe Bryant taking the game way too seriously, and observing one too many errant passes, we decided to create our very own All-Star teams. Forged in our image.

The draft rules were vague. The only clear cut rule being a player could appear on only one roster.



Team Name: We Read 2 Kidz
Coach: B-Nice
Lead Assistant: Justin Beiber
Point Guard: Steve Nash
Shooting Guard: Luke Walton
Small Forward: LeBron James
Power Forward: Dirk Nowitzki
Center : Pau Gasol
Strengths: Shooting, Literate, Multi-Lingual, Floppy Hair
Weaknesses: Luke Walton, Too Nice



Team Name: First Blood
Coach: El Manicero
Lead Assistant: Woody Harrelson
Point Guard: Derek Rose
Shooting Guard: Ray Allen
Small Forward: Kevin Durant
Power Forward: Kevin Garnett
Center: Andrew Bynum
Strengths: Scoring, Defense, Woody's Got Herb
Weaknesses: Injury (Bynum, Garnett), Woody Wants to Play



Team Name: Never Kobe.
Coach: W2
Lead Assistant: Scarlett Johansson
Point Guard: Russell Westbrook
Shooting Guard: Manu Ginobli
Small Forward: Carmelo Anthony
Power Forward: Lamar Odom
Center: Joakim Noah
Strengths: Hottest Groupies, ScoJo
Weaknesses: Melodrama, Westbrook Doesn't Party



Team Name: Power Ball
Coach: Sir Thomas of Doyle
Lead Assistant: Axl Rose
Point Guard: Rajon Rondo
Shooting Guard: Dwayne Wade
Small Forward: Andre Iguadola
Power Forward: Amare Stoudemire
Center: Kendrick Perkins
Strengths: Technical Fouls, Defense, Axl's Got Coke
Weaknesses: Axl's Got Coke

Glaring Omissions: Brain Scalibrine, Matt Bonner, AK-47, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Rudy Fernandez, Delonte West, Stan Van Gundy

5 comments:

El Manicero said...

Awesome. Still think my team beats all in seven game series in the present. In the future I upgrade for youth.

P.S. Did you write this last night? Cause you need to get B-Nice to edit this or read when you sober up. :)

King Roomie Rock said...

Team Name: Money Jungle
Coach: King Roomie Rock
Lead Assistants: here
Coaches Assistant: here
Point Guard: Deron Williams
Shooting Guard: Jason Richardson
Small Forward: Gerald Wallace
Power Forward: Carlos Boozer
Center : Al Horford
Off the bench: Stephen Jackson
Strengths: Speed, Style, Healthy Appetite (see Power Forward), Stephen Jackson
Weaknesses: none

W2 said...

I like Teo's team. Roomie, Jason Richardson couldn't guard a cardboard box. Put Monte Ellis at the 2 and you would roll.

Feel free to send along any editting advice.

Duke's Lounge said...

First Blood+Power Ball=One Hell of A Party!

El Manicero said...

Looks like you picked up on most of the typos.

Edits: I believe she goes by "Scarlett" and Scally's name is misspelled but who cares?