Monday, February 21, 2011


With King Roomie Rock unavailable, members of the APT universe took to an interstellar space station to watch Sunday's NBA All-Star Game. After much deliberation (drinking), Kobe Bryant taking the game way too seriously, and observing one too many errant passes, we decided to create our very own All-Star teams. Forged in our image.

The draft rules were vague. The only clear cut rule being a player could appear on only one roster.

Team Name: We Read 2 Kidz
Coach: B-Nice
Lead Assistant: Justin Beiber
Point Guard: Steve Nash
Shooting Guard: Luke Walton
Small Forward: LeBron James
Power Forward: Dirk Nowitzki
Center : Pau Gasol
Strengths: Shooting, Literate, Multi-Lingual, Floppy Hair
Weaknesses: Luke Walton, Too Nice

Team Name: First Blood
Coach: El Manicero
Lead Assistant: Woody Harrelson
Point Guard: Derek Rose
Shooting Guard: Ray Allen
Small Forward: Kevin Durant
Power Forward: Kevin Garnett
Center: Andrew Bynum
Strengths: Scoring, Defense, Woody's Got Herb
Weaknesses: Injury (Bynum, Garnett), Woody Wants to Play

Team Name: Never Kobe.
Coach: W2
Lead Assistant: Scarlett Johansson
Point Guard: Russell Westbrook
Shooting Guard: Manu Ginobli
Small Forward: Carmelo Anthony
Power Forward: Lamar Odom
Center: Joakim Noah
Strengths: Hottest Groupies, ScoJo
Weaknesses: Melodrama, Westbrook Doesn't Party

Team Name: Power Ball
Coach: Sir Thomas of Doyle
Lead Assistant: Axl Rose
Point Guard: Rajon Rondo
Shooting Guard: Dwayne Wade
Small Forward: Andre Iguadola
Power Forward: Amare Stoudemire
Center: Kendrick Perkins
Strengths: Technical Fouls, Defense, Axl's Got Coke
Weaknesses: Axl's Got Coke

Glaring Omissions: Brain Scalibrine, Matt Bonner, AK-47, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Rudy Fernandez, Delonte West, Stan Van Gundy


El Manicero said...

Awesome. Still think my team beats all in seven game series in the present. In the future I upgrade for youth.

P.S. Did you write this last night? Cause you need to get B-Nice to edit this or read when you sober up. :)

King Roomie Rock said...

Team Name: Money Jungle
Coach: King Roomie Rock
Lead Assistants: here
Coaches Assistant: here
Point Guard: Deron Williams
Shooting Guard: Jason Richardson
Small Forward: Gerald Wallace
Power Forward: Carlos Boozer
Center : Al Horford
Off the bench: Stephen Jackson
Strengths: Speed, Style, Healthy Appetite (see Power Forward), Stephen Jackson
Weaknesses: none

W2 said...

I like Teo's team. Roomie, Jason Richardson couldn't guard a cardboard box. Put Monte Ellis at the 2 and you would roll.

Feel free to send along any editting advice.

Duke's Lounge said...

First Blood+Power Ball=One Hell of A Party!

El Manicero said...

Looks like you picked up on most of the typos.

Edits: I believe she goes by "Scarlett" and Scally's name is misspelled but who cares?